Pregnant At 14, A Mother at 15

Sometimes you can end up in the most unlikely situations.  Remember, the choices you make today, are the situations of tomorrow.  However, there is one thing you always have to remember, life is never fair.  You just have to be strong enough for what ever comes your way.

There are different reasons for teenagers being sexually active and choosing to be with older men.   Sometimes the reason is sexual abuse/molestation from family members, the absence of a father or a father figure.  The reason for me is both.  In addition, from a very early age, I always felt like an adult, trapped in a child’s body.  In my mind, I knew what my goals were, how I was going to obtain them, regardless of whatever my current actions were at that time.  I remember having all As and one B on my report card.

               I was pregnant at the age of 14 years old.  Not intentionally, but I guess I thought it would never happen to me.  I had a boyfriend that I started dating when I was in junior high; he in high school.  We definitely tried to keep it on the down low   since when it started i  was 13 and he was 17.  He went off to college, and then I went to high school.  I hated math of course, and in high school there was Algebra. I remember soooo sleepy in Algebra class every day and this was the class that I struggled with.  As soon as I got out of school I was sleeping through the evening, and then sleeping, and then I would go to bed early.  I really had no idea that I may be pregnant.

              Then he had some time off from school, boyfriend, and I was excited about getting to see him.  I did for a few days, and boy did we both enjoy it.  Since we had spent so much time together, I really didn’t want to go home; I begged him to let me go back to school with him.  I told him I would just sleep in his dorm with him. Of course, he didn’t take me back with him.  I decided to run away to my friends’ play cousin house.  Nope, we weren’t related, however, our family and their family marry over so many times, we would just say it that way.  But there was one older guy there, that I always had a connection with; a very deep connection.

I was gone about 2 weeks, they never found me, I got tired and called home.  When I called home, my mom said, “Don’t call me, call the police”.  So I hung up, called the police, told them where I was, and they came and got me, and took me to “kiddie jail”.  I was there less than 24 hours, then transferred to a hospital for troubled children.  When you get there labs and urine samples are drawn.  It was  during that time it was found that I had a high HGC hormone.  My mother had informed the staff that I was on different types of drugs and alcohol.  When the tests came back, they said “nope she’s clean, AND pregnant”.  I still remember she first time I heard his heart beat.

I went home WHEN I WAS READY.  I knew that I was the ‘black sheep’ of the family, and I still went to school, church, and I help my head up high.  I din’t care what people thought, because they always thought something.  I had a scheduled c-section, my mom asked me if I wanted her to stay with me.  She talk bad to me while I was pregnant (even though she helped me), so I told her no.  I did this on my own, so I can have the baby on my own.  I was upset because my baby’s father wasn’t there because he wanted to go to the Bayou Classics in New Orleans.

Many hours later, I had a perfect, sweet, beautiful little baby boy.  When I first saw    him I didn’t know what to feel, think, or say.  All I knew was that he was so gorgeous, he, was the only thing in the world that was mine, and he was the only thing in this world that I knew loved me.  By the time I had him, I was 15, and I was totally committed to being a good mother to my child.  I read so many books, was reading so many more, and was reading books to my baby boy since the first day he was born.

In addition, I did complete my freshman year of high school; with being on the honor roll.  After I had my son, there was a home bound program, where teacher would come out to the home at times, but most of my work was at my own pace.  My mom helped me take care of everything for my son.  He had everything that I wanted him to have, and more, or I would have gotten a job to make sure he had it.  My mom threatened to stop buying disposable pampers, and told me she could use cloth diapers, since that was what she used on me.  Of course, I refused.  I let her know that I will go to school, work, and buy my baby what I feel like he needs.  At that point, she told me don’t worry about it, and she had been keeping a bank book with a list of every dollar that she had spent on my son, and told me that she wanted every penny back.

I managed to take good care of my son (he was on a schedule, thanks to the books), drop him off at the sitters (my mom drove me), then she took me to school, ride the bus back to the sitter’s house, keep him with me until my mom got off work, and my mom would pick us up and take us home.  I gave him his baths, feedings, got him dressed, red him books, did home work around his schedule or after his bed time.  I did not allow or expect anyone else to take care of my responsibility.

However, I beat the Odds.  Beating The Odds coming soon.  I would like to help others that have experienced or is experiencing that things that I have went through.  It could be resources or just someone to talk to.  I am here.

Written By Carly James

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