From friends to lovers, then laughter to tears,
All in a short time frame, of a little more than a year.
“T” said, “in this type of situation…Have no expectations and you will be okay”,
Not expecting, but sexing, seems psychotic today.
Again, how did I get all the way from laughter to tears?
Tell me…How am I starting to face, one of my biggest fears?
From Alpha my ‘inner voice’ was there, but mu sub consciousness quietened it with a big NOPE,
And severed its vocals with excuses, imaginary play, lust, and fictional hope.
Again, the answer was always there in plain sight,
God’s word, and my inner voice, has always proven to be right.
Once Tonya ask me, when you give yourself to a man, what is it that you get?
I sat looking puzzled, thinking…and letting my mind wander for a bit.
My answers were vague, as I pondered to give one honest, and one that fit like a glove,
As far back as I can remember, the answer was always companionship, but most of all LOVE.
“T” said I don’t know why, I’m telling you all of this, and its against all the ‘playa rules’,
But I love you like a sister, and I don’t want you to be a damn fool.
He said pay close attention, to the “little shit” he does,
The little shit will lead you to the big shit…because,
A person can say one thing, and with their actions do another,
Little shit will lead to the big shit, and this is T loving you like a brother.
I’m leading my own heard, so the verdict is in,
To the songs and questions that questioned my inner voice within/
Betty Wright said…A piece of a man is better than no man at all,
The verdict is in, and that answer is false,
When it comes to a man, he better make me feel, he is a whole one, because I deserve it all.
K. Michelle said… You gave to through the pain, to get through the love,
But what happens if, your reality is that…You are the only one in love?
I’m choosing the path, I want my heart to lead,
The verdict is in, a piece of a man is not the one for me.
What’s love got to do with it, Tina….Every damn thang,
Giving yourself, to a man that don’t love you, brings you pain, to No Pain No Gain, and leaves you after the pain.
Someone told me that there is no real devil, the only devil that exists is fear, but that is another soul story, that I’ll give a verdict on, after carefully meditating on God’s word a lot,
My biggest fear, is that…. he loves me… NOT.
The verdict is in, my heart will be lead with “TRUTH” and the voice that speak internally,
K. Michelle got it right…When I find a man, he is definitely going to love me.
By: Carly James